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“Disgusting or Awkward Hip-Hop Lyrics on Otherwise Solid Cuts”

I guess what I’m trying to do here is corroborate what you feel, or have corroborated what I feel, about certain little alienating parts of good rap songs, the fact that they’re bitchin’ being the reason why it matters, and rock or white pop music has moments like this too, see Yo La Tengo’s “Sit and stare at the TV/CNN’s on Channel 3”, during a very climactic moment of the otherwise good song, which I think is “From a Motel 6,” but with hip-hop, the ratio of lyrics to music is higher, and, for better or worse for the burdened inner-city artists, more importance, because of this, is put on the subject matter. The fact that I’m writing this post should show that I love hip-hop and consider it my master.

Action Bronson & Statik Selektah –  from Wu-Tang’s Legendary Weapons (2011)

{“See me with an actress / Getting my ass licked.”}

Whoa, so too much information. Actually I shouldn’t have even put this first, because this is far and away the best album on this list. Bronson’s disses are cool (“You’re like a $40 holla at Guadalajara”), every track is a head-nodder full of hype rhyming and cool, balanced, unpredictable beatness. So why’m I bit**ing. Because it could be better. I’m putting in my own two cents of feedback from my tiny little corner, saying I’d really rather not be grossed out. Plus dude, it’s common courtesy to return the favor.

Big Boi – “Hustle Blood” from Sir Lucius Left Foot (The Son of Chico Dusty) (2010)

{“We got her surrounded / She gonna give it to me”}

Way way creepy creepy way creepy creepy. I used to listen to this album a lot. The beats are great and fun, and every song is very different from the last. “Shutterbugg” is a great sonic tunnel of pure energy. But sadly this is one of many in the trend for Mr. so-called “If I ever went astray then God would get me back on track.” Not much better, or much worse, to be exact, is the dude in “Shake it Like a Tambourine” who’s saying his “dick game (is) glorious.” It’s this sort of shit that gives us dudes a bad name, when there’s plenty to talk about, like the war in Iraq (Pharoahe Monch) or the zombifying effects of technology (Black Thought), and really you expect more from someone who’s been in Outkast.

Wu-Tang Clan (Action Bronson) – “Meteor Hammer” from Legendary Weapons (2011)

{“Dick sucks from Shannon Doherty / Take her temperature anally and orally”}

Well, what have we here, a repeat offender. Son, didn’t we see with your friends earlier down by the 7-11? Very talented rapper and always seems to be flowing over killer cuts, but sorry, this type of thing just won’t stand. No one with any taste whatsoever could possibly enjoy this line. Again, it’s this type of thing that keeps rap down, that keeps Wu-Tang from probably getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And you call the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame lame. It’s only as lame as we all make it.

Wu-Tang Clan (RZA) – “Duck Seazon” from Forever (1997)

{“I fuck hundreds of bitches and spend millions of dollars / And build with thousands of scholars / My life saga from the hill to the harbor”}

Aside from the fact that I couldn’t see Allah or the Koran, each of which RZA clings to on a regular basis for semantic validity, abiding this sort of diatribe, it’s the way he sounds that’s most disappointing. He’s rapping like a pretty little bird that’s had his feathers ruffled. It’s like dude, just say what you mean. If you’re pissed at some rapper, say what sucks about him. Part of hip-hop is dissing, like KRS-One said, with it starting with slaves in the fields being like, “Your head is so big on that tiny neck you look like a lollipop,” or whatever. Say that! We don’t need a camera into your bedroom. Yikes. Must go to my happy place now.

Black Milk (Danny Brown) – “Black and Brown” from Album of the Year (2010)

{“Banana in her tailpipe I’ll make her Axel Foley”}

I’m not even sure I want to know what he means by the later part of this, but anyway, it’s like, dude, I get that you’re better than me. That’s what music and everything else is about — being king of the mountain. I’d just hope that people use the spotlight to say something intricate and useful, and not totally prurient. Plus, it’s kind of disgusting that he’s talking about this and his name is Danny “Brown.” Notice the complete lack of tasteless lyrics in any Black Milk verses! Yeah, big man crush, pretty non-sexual.

Cypress Hill – “Pigs” from Cypress Hill (1991)

{“This pig he’s a fuckin’ fag / So all his friends they call him a p**sy”}

I could go on and on with this stuff, but I think I’ll end it here, because actually, this is the best album on this list. And it’s the rare album where the best stuff comes from a guest appearance, or it seems like a guest appearance, in “How I Could Just Kill a Man” with Sen Dog: “I ain’t gonna waste no time / Fuckin’ around like I got ya hummin’.” I’m not even sure if that’s what he says, but I looked at two websites and they each said that. Anyway, not that I don’t think there’s a place for homophobia in hip-hop, I mean why the hell shouldn’t there be, I’m definitely not a politically correct kind of person, and I’m all for stopping the bitching about self-expression, but it just seems unnecessary on this track, like he’s drawing attention to it in a perverse sort of way, so that just to ignore a “little bitch” or whatever would be better, and just get on with your business. And by the way, I hope I’m nowhere around when B Real is doing whatever business he does over in the City of Angels.

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