You are dressed in a shirt with the font of the Nirvana smiley-face logo. The writing on the shirt, however, reads “Pac-Man.” Apparently, you found this shirt at Spencer’s, and paid about $25 for it, because you identified with the subversive message implicit in the mocking of Nirvana’s apparrel.
You just never GOT Nirvana. They never made any sense to you. And so you rejoice in encountering a beacon in society echoing your complete lack of identification with the band, or your “disaffection,” if you will.
Yet, you consume. You chose to pay $25 for that shirt. And when you see me in the grocery store, you study my face… you scour my face for meaning, for entertainment and for satisfaction. I avert eye contact with you, until I see you in another aisle, still wandering aimlessly, still wanting a strong mission, a strong agenda to attach yourself to, for the day.
Where will your voracious appetite for meaning and for edification take you next? And will you find something that appeals to your basic drives, juxtaposed with your complete inability to find satisfaction in anything paradigmatic?
Four months ago, the store in which I just saw you was shot up by a dude who was in there, wandering around aimlessly. I’d been shopping in there, earlier that day, about five hours before the shooting, even bought about $100 worth of groceries. The gunman, so the paper ran, had been wandering about the store for some time, looking at a lot of people. It didn’t say what sort of shirt he was wearing. He**, maybe that was his problem: he just needed a shirt that said “Dungeons and Dragons” in the Led Zeppelin font. Take whatever victory you can get. I see you.
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