“A Cease-and-Desist Letter to Saturday Night Live.”

I think we all knew this day would come, eventually… actually it should have come somewhere around 2010 but at that point the show was almost just too awful to handle in any regard without a Haz-Mat safety data sheet. 

And I’ll be the first to admit that I have seen SOME funny skits on SNL in the last five years. There was the guy working the return counter at a Wal-Mart dealing with the girl returning cologne for tampons for his boyfriend because he was such a “pu**y.” There was Kyle Mooney’s character trying to be funny and make a “cut-to” jokes, to only then culminate in the brilliant zinger of “Cut to me making like 100 more cut-to jokes.” And, as usual, the Weekend Update is pretty viewable.

But the batting average is, as they say in baseball, “Hovering below the Mendoza Line,” which means hitting below .200 (getting a hit on less than one in five at-bats). I’ve seen way too many stagnant, painful skits lately to endorse the continuation of this show, the latest culprit being a skit of somebody playing a sound bite of the Ohio State band doing “Don’t Stop Believin’,” on which the wit and sharp analysis seemed to be just replaced by loud screams and pointless belligerence. It’s been a long time since “Nick Burns, the Company’s Computer Guy” and “The Ladies’ Man,” in other words.

I actually did see one time a pretty funny show featuring that doctor who used to Loveline on MTV, cast in a similar role of steadily, professionally overseeing buffoonish behavior from any of various local perverts. This show, whose name unfortunately escapes me currently, would seem to make a fine replacement for the tired, stale old Saturday Night Live format, which, I think, hasn’t seen a compelling opening monologue or musical guest since probably 2014 or so.

You know what else I was just thinking? You remember Dave Attell, who had that show Insomnia with Dave Attell and would just walk around various cities showcasing all the funny and bizarre sh** that was going on? One of the episode was with this cop whose job it was to shoot nutria (rats) that would be strolling around along the ravines in New Orleans and the officer even let Attell have a couple cracks at testing his aim. I think definitely, in the world today, truth is stranger than fiction, with all of our themes and plotlines pretty dried-out and hackneyed, so something like this might make for a refreshing alternative to sketch comedy. I mean, how many times can you say old white men are racist masturbators? 

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