“Getting Older Makes You More Punk: Wallowing in ‘Strawberry'”

As much as we try to revoke racism, black and white really are opposites, and even though rock and roll was invented by black people, we whites tend to settle into our own niche roles with it. And not that it would be unfathomable to meet a black person who liked Everclear, but it’s probably … Read more“Getting Older Makes You More Punk: Wallowing in ‘Strawberry’”

“Examining Each Early Green Day Album as an Individual Concept Album”

Green Day had guts, personality, and a pop sense lacking in absolutely nothing. Hence we begin.   1,039 Smoothed Out, Slappy Hours Not a true Green Day album, as Trey Cool is not on it. Though you can tell a phony douche bag by their owning or patronizing of this album.   Kerplunk! Lust. He’s … Read more“Examining Each Early Green Day Album as an Individual Concept Album”

“How Lily Allen Defies the Very Notion of Music Criticism”

Lily Allen put out a really crappy album in 2008 or so. But the title says it all: It’s Not Me, It’s You. It’s the papa razzi, those snapping photos of her, exploiting her physical assumption in lieu of the songwriting. I mean, just imagine how creeped out you’d be if you were this girl. … Read more“How Lily Allen Defies the Very Notion of Music Criticism”

“The New Pornographers: The Big-Drum Bullies That They Always Were”

I was thinking of crazy times out in Colorado recently, high on a lot of substances, and “The Fake Headlines” came to mind, rushing around in a car like everybody else, trying to get ahead of everybody else, like everybody else. I didn’t even think of Electric Version or Twin Cinema. I’ve been on a … Read more“The New Pornographers: The Big-Drum Bullies That They Always Were”

“Keep Your Ear on the Moving Target: Pop and The National”

The New Pornographers, now, with Together, may have created pop music to transcend the visceral. The truths of an aging, vulnerable person are always boring, though, which is why we root for the Michael Stipes and Carl Newmans, and gloss over the R.E.M. lyrics that are like, “I want everything now”, and “We’ll show the … Read more“Keep Your Ear on the Moving Target: Pop and The National”

“On Shakespeare’s Curiously Befouling and Pardoned Agnosticism”

In case anyone was wondering or doesn’t know already, Bukowski was wrong about Shakespeare, he was a genius of spellbinding moxie. Of course, Bukowski was more like a machine than he was a man — he was like some fan that shoots out wind and beer and makes funny noises. I mean, one time apparently … Read more“On Shakespeare’s Curiously Befouling and Pardoned Agnosticism”

“That’s the Anthem Get Your Damn Hands Up: Cut Copy and ‘Ye”

Cut Copy have a “limited palette” (cokemachineglow.com), and they excessively “get… to the point” (pitchfork). Just to preface this, cokemachineglow are a bunch of stuffed musical terds, to paraphrase Bukowski, and they would not be satisfied without a portfolio — a sort of proof of the artist having obnoxiously turned over every stylistic stone availably … Read more“That’s the Anthem Get Your Damn Hands Up: Cut Copy and ‘Ye”