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“It’s Not Enough to Be Disrespectful”

If you visit the cultural-criticism [1] juggernaut Consequence of Sound, you’re more than likely to encounter some bilious rancor directed toward the 1990s [2] and/or the gen-Y/digital music age, and it’s not enough for them to be disrespectful of the ‘90s, calling CD’s “A technologically obsolete [3] medium that self-destructs [4] over time” [5]. They have to be total morons as well: “No wonder only 89 million CD’s were purchased in all of 2017.” Haha! Uh, what? So if I only sell 89 million banana biscuits in a year I guess I’m a shi**y baker too, eh? I mean, that is like the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. 89 million is a small number now, eh? Wow, I need to considerably revamp my mathematical sense, then, to say the least. Now all I need is an article on “Why music matters” from one of these hairy rhinocerous a**hole millennials, in defense of 2017’s meagre CD sales.
Look, I own every CD by Deerhoof, Liars and Wolf Eyes (none of which as yet has “self-destructed,” for the record, to my knowledge). I have no business liking the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It’s a tool of the man — filtered through so many corporate denizens as to render the final product the lowest brand of crowd-pleasing sycophancy.
But god da** it. I like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Do you know WHY, righteous brother of the sun, that I like ye olde RRHF? It’s because I can go to their web site and I know that the given article I examine isn’t going to devolve into a contest for who can be the biggest douche bag, talking about something called “Game of Thrones,” whatever the fu** dorky sh** that is, or how good the porta potties at Bonnaroo work. What’s more, they don’t use “not-good” [6] as an adjective or “fu**-it” [7] as a noun. They have what is known is many parts as a “vocabulary.”
What’s more, they have respect for their subject matter, and they don’t just see quantified pejoratives as directly proportional to journalistic success [8].
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[1] Their site covers movies and television as well.
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[2] How about referring to the Dandy Warhols’ Courtney Taylor-Taylor as “as much of a joke as the rest of us” or providing some absurdly reductive and just downright douchey categorization of the Meat Puppets that they’re “a lot like the Vaselines” just because their songs shared the Nirvana unplugged setting? Wow guys, Nirvana unplugged, that’s some serious field research!
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[3] Is there another way for a CD to be obsolete other than “technologically”? Like is it no longer functional as a coffee table coaster, or something?
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[4] By the way, props to them for hashing out the fictitious phenomenon of “self-destruction” from the old Mission: Impossible video games. The scientific explanation of “self-destruction” is… uh, perhaps pending.
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[5] https://consequenceofsound.net/2018/02/best-buy-will-cease-selling-cds-later-this-year/

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[6] I know for a fact I saw them do this one time about Scott Weiland’s Wildabouts album Blaster although I can’t find it online right now.
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[7] https://consequenceofsound.net/2015/06/bonnaroo-2015-festival-report-from-worst-to-best/.

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[8] Although I have to say my favorite ever was the guy who made the comment that when the media went digital it lost all semblance of integrity, using… you guessed it… a digital platform to express such sagacity!

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