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“Midnight North and the Return of the Lame ’90s-Style Band”

Everybody these days talks about how great the ‘90s were, but do you actually REMEMBER them? Ugh! The endless VH1 specials, the lame, cheesy MTV sitcoms and of course bands like Midnight North, composed of mind-bogglingly asexual, static individuals plucking a little part a dalmatian could probably play on any number of sundry innocuous, non-affective instruments, believing futilely, of course, in the goodness of humanity. Aww. It’s the type of thing that makes you want to go kill an innocent Iraqi just to get that decade over with.
I’ve been searching, in fact, for a new band to spew out on to one of my “Wintertime Jam” lists, because I realize I’m like the lamest jam fan in the history of mankind, starting all of those lists with Phish and the Grateful Dead. Behind KEXP, Relix is probably the second most important feed I follow on Facebook these days and they bequeathed me this Midnight North, which… I mean granted this crap came before boy bands and rock/rap so it’s probably a little more commendable than that dross, but don’t let it fool you. Rock and roll is not an asexual, sterile enterprise. I seem to be the only a**hole who likes Scott Weiland and the Wildabouts – Blaster. And I’m ok with that. For as long as the ‘90s were, we never rocked ENOUGH. Or something. I guess I should like Queens of the Stone Age more than I do. Consequence of Sound just isn’t reading between the lines. They don’t hear the spliced snare sound which booms all across the LP and they ignore the whammy bar on “Amethyst” that yes first materialized on Foo Fighters’ “Aurora.” So Rolling Stone, you spotted like the one bad lyric (by the way they’re comparing singing style with lyrics) on the whole album and you think you like defeated the ‘90s. Well how can you defeat a slacker, a**hole? The more you take away from him, the more heroic he becomes. A-da-da, a-da-da, a-da-da, a-da-da…

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