“Crux and Catastrophe on Sparkle and Fade (Ramblings, in No Way Important)”

I hate my friend for two reasons. On two parts. Well, beside the fact that he never calls me. I hate him because he was right, and I hate him because he was wrong.

I mean, how plain do they have to make it? The title of the album is delivered in an off-titled track. “Summerland” is obviously Art Alexakis’ favorite song on Sparkle and Fade, the artistic anatomical rudiments dictate as much.

I mean, I didn’t NOTICE the planet continuing to turn, the sun continuing to revolve about the sky, so can we actually prove it happened? This “Strawberry” and “Heartspark Dollarsign” being the favorite two songs on the album? Alexakis is doing heroin?

“Strawberry” got ruined for me when I was young, because someone put it on a cross-country “pump-up” running tape. This is the exact opposite type of song of what it is. Heroin is for idle hands, or inactive legs, in this case, and the type of sultry rock and roll Everclear puts to shreds can only be described as an immediate, tactile antidote for all-out catastrophe. The end of life. The last thing before it is Everclear. Also, it was the soft texture in the guitar intro in “Heartspark Dollarsign,” and the unorthodox, non-power-of-two phrasing.

Also, “Heroin Girl” is ruined by being on the greatest hits. I mean, I didn’t care that Alexakis is doing heroin, and then I did, and then the greatest hits package reminds me of some cheesy band reunion… “Santa Monica” and “The Twistinside” would be fine, but why after getting back would the band be like, Hey, remember we used to do heroin?


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