I keep talking to people in bars, and I keep going OFF, arguing, making whatever point pops into my head, which’ll probly be different tomorrow. In the meantime, I see a man who turns me on, in the non-sexual way, his body perfectly arched while he rides on a bike in front of a girlfriend who is on another bike. They round the corner of Westwood onto Haywood, right where I live here in Asheville, and I can’t help but think, just, I get older, and some things are losing battles. It’s times like this I’m glad I don’t have a “friend” with me, because there would be nothing to say, the only thing to do would be to grab beers, but as I’m alone, I just make dinner and listen to the memories.
Last time in the bar, even though I didn’t have a desire to hang out with this dude outside of it, I did walk on eggshells when talking to him. We had similarities of opinion, and we had differences of opinion. The TV would change, and with these changes, my “soul” would change, a word which I don’t mind using in this context, because the situation deals directly with interaction, and nothing egotistical or dogmatic. In other words, it seemed futile, but at least the thing was mine, individual.